Pregnant Abroad: Pros, Cons & Tips for Survival
Being pregnant abroad comes with a whole range of emotions. It’s such an exciting time, but living in a foreign country can make things a little bit more difficult. Here are the most essential survival tips, as well as the pros and cons to keep in mind as you go through pregnancy abroad.
This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product through a link in this article, I may be compensated at absolutely no extra cost to you. Please see my full disclosure policy here.
“Well, then comes baby… and “Pregnant-Expat” isn’t nearly as fun as the jet-setting, island-hopping lifestyle I once relished in.”
Small Town Girl Goes International
I grew up in a small, conservative town in Louisiana, the “Deep South” of the United States. Ever since I can remember, I always felt the desire to escape, to expand… this constant ache to know what else was out there and the urge to dive in head first.
At 18-years-old, I packed my bags and traded in my hometown for Los Angeles, where I truly began living the dream. I immediately immersed myself into a very international group of friends. Being surrounded by these people really opened my eyes to the beauty of diversity and the excitement of understanding different cultures. I began to travel the world, and by age 26 I had already lived on 3 different continents and traveled to over 20 countries.
Going From “Forever-Expat” to “Pregnant-Expat”
I had mastered the whole living abroad thing, fully identifying as a “Forever-Expat,” with no vision of returning home anytime in the foreseeable future. Well, then comes baby… and “Pregnant-Expat” isn’t nearly as fun as the jet-setting, island-hopping lifestyle I once relished in.
Although my husband and I had planned for a baby and had begun “trying”, we didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. In November 2018, we left our lives in Barcelona, Spain to start fresh in my husband’s hometown of Santiago, Chile. The week we moved there, I became pregnant.
We were truly overjoyed and incredibly excited, but fairly soon after finding out the good news, I realized being pregnant abroad is a whole different story.
I could go on and on about my personal story, but instead I’m just going to break it down into pros, cons, and tips for survival.
Pros of Being Pregnant Abroad:
1. You connect with your partner on an intensely deep level.
Living abroad is already a unique bonding experience for you and your partner. Now throw a baby in the mix, and you realize your partner is your biggest support system. Pregnancy hits you hard with a rollercoaster of emotions in the beginning, and you’ll be forced to rely on the one and only person by your side. This allows you to connect on a deeper level which inevitably brings the two of you closer together. Going through pregnancy abroad builds a sense of teamwork within the relationship, which is the perfect base for entering parenthood.
2. You become stronger and more independent than ever.
Being far from friends and family might be the hardest part of going through pregnancy abroad, however it also shifts your perspective and helps you find a deep inner strength you never knew existed. You soon realize you are no longer just living for yourself, but your new role is to support and nourish the developing life within you. Living for someone else is the biggest motivation. Your own homesick feelings hit the back burner, and your biggest priority becomes staying vibrant and at peace for the sake of your baby. This shift in perspective builds and undeniable strength that can never be taken away from you.
3. Your child will be born with multiple nationalities.
Holding multiple passports is incredibly valuable in today’s global economy. With absolutely no effort, your child will already be set up for a bigger, brighter future with way more opportunities than most kids. He’ll be exposed to multiple languages and cultures, which in my opinion is the most valuable type of education. Plus- your child will always have a cool story to share about being born in a faraway land!
4. You’ll make friends with people who understand exactly what you’re going through.
“Birds of a feather flock together.” Expats attract expats, there’s no other way around it, and plugging into an expat group offers wonderful support during pregnancy. In Chile, I found a Facebook group for English-Speaking-Moms. Within that group, I found several women who were also pregnant for the first time, so we created our own small group of “English-Speaking-First-Time-Pregnant-Women” which eventually turned into my best friends out there. Nobody else understood what I was going through except for them because they were in the exact same boat. Social media is an amazing tool for networking and finding your new besties.
5. Pregnant women have way more rights abroad than in the US.
This depends on the country of course, but the United States is known for having the shittiest women’s rights in the developed world. Outside of the US, pregnant women have:
- Significantly lower risk of maternal death
- Full-payment during maternity leave for several months and extending up to over a year.
– In Norway, mothers can take 35 weeks of maternity leave at full-time pay or 45 weeks at 80% pay. Parents can also receive an additional 46 weeks off at full-time pay or 56 weeks at 80% of their salary. - True job security (In Chile, by law, a pregnant woman cannot be fired under ANY circumstances, and will not lose her job for up to two years after giving birth, even if she doesn’t show up for work.)
- Reserved parking spots for expecting mothers AND mothers of young children
- Reserved seats on public transportation for expecting mothers
- Affordable, high-quality childcare options (up to 52.7% of income goes towards childcare in the United States, according to the OECD. This is shocking!!)
6. You will have a truly unforgettable experience.
Being pregnant while living abroad certainly isn’t easy, but it is an experience you will never forget. You’ll come out stronger and more independent, with life-long friends and endless stories to share.
Cons of Being Pregnant Abroad
1. You won’t have the support system you’re used to.
You’re far away from family, and far away from friends. You’re far from your own mother, and no matter how hard your mother-in-law tries, it’s never the same.
2. Cultural clashes may cause some tension.
You never realize how deeply rooted your own customs are within yourself until you experience pregnancy and childbirth abroad. Just as you have deeply rooted ideals, deeply rooted customs surrounding pregnancy and childbirth are embedded within each country too. This can be extremely stressful when trying to set boundaries for foreign in-laws or friends from different cultures. Things become even more tense when trying to communicate in a different language. Here are a few scenarios I personally struggled with in Chile:
| Cultural Clashes | Chilean Norm | American Norm |
| Personal Space | Generally, everyone (including strangers) assumes it is acceptable to rub your pregnant belly, touch your baby’s face/hands/body, and even KISS your baby without permission. | Generally, people ask permission before touching you or your baby. Kissing a stranger’s baby is not considered acceptable. |
| Visiting a Newborn | It is expected that all friends, distant family, co-workers, and acquaintances visit in the hospital the day the baby is born, regardless of the mother’s opinion. You’re considered a “bad friend” if you don’t. | It’s generally understood that only very close family or friends may visit in the hospital, ONLY if the mother requests them there. Otherwise, it may be considered inappropriate or disrespectful. |
| Supporting New Parents | Showing up at the hospital is the best demonstration of support. Providing nourishing meals is not considered normal. | Family members and close friends understand bringing over home-cooked meals (food in general) is extremely helpful for new, overwhelmed parents. |
| The Mother’s Wishes | If the new mom does not want visitors upon coming home from the hospital, she is trying to “keep” the baby from you. | The new mom needs privacy to heal. The new mom needs time to connect with her baby. The new mom needs space to learn how to breastfeed. Visitors can wait. |
3. Quality of medical care may not be up to standard.
Yes, healthcare is ridiculously expensive in the United States. Even though the quality of healthcare does not really justify childbirth costing 6-figures, it is higher quality than the care you may receive in many other countries. In Latin America, C-section rates are extremely high (58.9% of births in Dominican Republic are C-sections; compared to 32% in the US). Many doctors are not even trained on how to deliver a baby vaginally; they are only trained in obstetric surgeries. This is a scary scenario for a woman who wants minimal intervention.
When I asked my OBGYN about prenatal genetic screening to be aware of any possible issues, I was told that is never done in Chile because they don’t have the technology or the money to provide such testing.
“We have no idea how much my son weighed when he was born because the scale they used was broken.”
We have no idea how much my son weighed when he was born because the scale they used was broken. A broken scale could be chalked up to either lack of resources, low quality standards, or apathetic medical staff. Either way, this is one of many minor things that just would not happen in the United States.
4. Mandatory vaccine schedules may not align with your home country.
Every country has different case rates of infectious disease, so their recommended vaccines reflect the specific risks within their own population. If you plan on returning back to your home country after your baby is born, I strongly suggest following your home country’s vaccine schedule. You may run into problems trying to translate foreign vaccination records or trying to pick up where you left off in a new country. For example, in the US, most pediatricians would just start over and revaccinate your child according to the CDC schedule – regardless of whether they were already vaccinated or not.
5. It may be difficult finding non-toxic, high quality baby products or OTC medications.
Most European countries have very high standards for ingredient safety in baby products or medications. The United States has somewhat lower quality standards, but Latin American countries have even lower standards. In Chile, and several other South American countries, the majority of baby products are imported from China, with very little or no quality control standards.
Simple over-the-counter medications like Baby Tylenol or Gripe Water just do not exist in Chile. High quality products are very limited, and if you are lucky enough to find what you need, you can expect to pay 5x the price to cover import costs. Newborn necessities like the Boppy Lounger, the Elvie breast pump, Earth Mama vegan nipple butter, EZPZ BPA-free silicone plates and cups, and the ErgoBaby Carrier are impossible to find in South America. So, I had to fly home to buy what I needed and transport it internationally in order to have it ready for my baby.
Stokke Xplory Stroller – 60% off!
Shop my favorite baby gear! As seen in the photo above, I’m rocking the Stokke Xplory Stroller. I actually bought mine used, and you can too! Click HERE to find your certified pre-owned stroller for 60% off!
Tips for Survival during Pregnancy Abroad:
1. Use social media to plug into a solid friend group.
Social media is an incredible tool for connecting with other likeminded people. Search for expat groups in your city and reach out to other new moms. Facebook, Instagram, and InterNations are some of my favorite outlets for networking.
2a. Try to find a doctor/midwife who supports the way you want to give birth.
You’ll have to put in extra effort and do lots of research to find the right doctor, but trust me – this is not where you want to become lazy. Stay picky, and don’t settle until you find the best option out there. Do not be afraid to say “Thank you, next.” to as many doctors as it takes until you find the right one. I went through 3 OBGYNs until I found my perfect fit. I went through 6 Pediatricians until I found the best fit for my son.
2b. Try to find a doctor/midwife who “speaks your language”
…literally and figureatively. It may bring peace and confidence to find a doctor who speaks your own native language, English for example. Also, probably even more important is finding a doctor who shares the same vision of birth as you. If natural, unmedicated birth and pregnancy are important to you, find a doctor who specializes in vaginal birth and who has a very low c-section rate.
3. Be clear, unapologetic and bold in your communication.
First of all, do research and be sure of what you want and expect during pregnancy and childbirth. You are the mama, you are in control. Even if you don’t speak the language, be SURE of what you want, and learn the translations for those specific phrases. For example, I was absolutely positive I did not want an epidural, and I wanted to be taught natural pain techniques. I learned how to communicate that clearly, and made DAMN sure my doctor and midwife understood and were on board.
It’s extremely helpful if your partner is from that culture, so they can step up and advocate for you. This also goes for having uncomfortable conversations with the in-laws. At some point I just stopped caring about hurting peoples’ feelings. I stopped trying to be politically correct and soft in my way of speech. People weren’t respecting me when I wasn’t extremely blunt, so I learned to say “I do not tolerate ANYBODY kissing my newborn. No exceptions. No discussion.”
It’s too easy for things to get lost in translation and the stakes are too high. All it takes is one person with an unnoticed cold sore kissing your baby for your newborn to contract herpes, be hospitalized, and possibly die. Your baby is your priority, end of story.
4. Embrace the culture you’re living in.
It’s easy to compare things to what you would expect in your own country, but remember – you love traveling and living abroad for a reason. Immersing yourself within a different culture is one of the most beautiful parts of international living. If you lean into the flow of the native lifestyle, you may be happier and experience less friction. Pregnancy and childbirth are very important times in life, and perhaps with an open mind, you may see that the other cultures treat these moments with love and support in a different way than you’re used to.
Was this article helpful?
Be sure to share this article with friends and family!
